My personal notes for How to Have a Better Conversation

A talk by Celeste Headlee I attended at TEDxSeattle
#psychology#communication

How do you have a conversation with somebody you don't agree with?

If you're surprised by the events of November 8th, that's a reflection of how you've isolated yourself from people who disagree with you.

Understanding requires interaction. The best way to increase your empathy is to listen to strangers.

Ask "what am I afraid of?" Then, ask "what are they afraid of?"

You will learn nothing from what you say today. You can only learn from other people. —Larry King (Paraphrased)

Four ways to have better conversations:

  1. Don't try to change anybody's mind. In the backfire effect, if someone presents evidence against something that's counter to our believe, we tend to believe it stronger.
  2. Don't prejudge. "People are not the politicians they vote for."
  3. Show respect. You don't know what it's like to be that person.
  4. Stick it out. Take a breath, wait before you respond, and hang in there. Ask questions.